Demand for Dower Determining GuidelineDower or ‘Mahr’ is an inextricable part of marriage under which the bride is given a support for the rainy day. Since Mahr is an integral part of Muslim marriage, it may be fixed by an agreement between the parties. In case it is not done, it will be determined by the operation of law. In the former case, it is known as specified dower, and in the latter case, proper dower.
The peculiar feature of Muslim law of Mahr is that no maximum amount of Mahr is prescribed, and, therefore, a husband is free to fix any amount of Mahr, even though it is beyond his means or ability to pay or earn.
However, with the exception of the Hanafis and the Malikis, among whom a minimum amount (though not maximum) of dower is laid down which is ten dirhams for Hanafis and three dirhams for Malikis. Though there is no fixed amount of Mahr in the Shari`ah, it should be given according to the financial status of the husband and according to the time and place. Moreover, it should be reasonable and not too expensive.
The Prophet (PBUH) never demanded huge amounts of dower when giving his daughters in marriage. He is also reported to have said, “The best woman is the one whose Mahr is the easiest to pay.” Umar ibn al-Khattab said: “Do not go to extremes with regard to the dowries of women, for if that were a sign of honour and dignity in this world or a sign of piety before Allah, then Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) would have done that before you. But he did not give any of his wives, and none of his daughters was given, more than twelve uqiyah. A man may increase the dowry until he feels resentment against her and says, ‘You cost me everything I own and caused me a great deal of hardship’
In another hadith, high amount of Mahr is considered evil and little Mahr and “Mahr al-Sunnah” has been advised which was about 1250 to 1500 grams of silver (equal to about 170 to 223 grams of gold).
In our county very often the groom is forced to increase the amount of dower under social pressure. But the husband has to pay the whole dower money, whatever unreasonable or unrealistic amount it might be, without any consideration of his income and along with the maintenance for three more months for his wife and if he has children then maintenance for the children as well.
Many might strongly disagree with the proposition of fixing the dower money following the guidance of Sharia, but it will solve many unfolded problems. Before every marriage ceremony fixing the dower, money causes many problems including a heated argument between two sides of the marriage leading to a breakdown of proposed marriage as well. Besides, even though the groom side concedes to the pay the dower on the face of an unreasonable demand, it leaves a permanent scar in the mind of the husband and his family which eventually create a mental bar to accept the bride in the new family.
Many women also treat dower money as a scale which represents their value. Lower dower money represents less value as a bride and higher means the opposite. In this way, they are objectifying themselves unconsciously. On a different note, there is also a new trend seen in the society where independent and educated women are refusing to accept dower money.
They are of the view that accepting dower in consideration of marriage is more like selling oneself. As they are educated and financially solvent, they are not ready to take any extra favour which might imbalance their equal footing with husband in the conjugal life. Such a rebellious move from the new generation of independent women is hailed by people who support new thought movement.
It has been a realization of many independent women that accepting money from their husband is not a respectable practice. Neither would it be in any way right to push the husband to increase the dower amount.
The necessity for producing a guideline for determining dower within a legal framework is an issue which deserves our attention more than ever. It will give the judiciary a strong ground to reject any unreasonable amount claimed by the disgruntled wives. Simultaneously, it will also eradicate the bad culture of imposing a high amount of dower on the groom in the name of religious practice which is discouraged in Islam.
Barrister Quazi Maruful Alam is an advocate the Supreme Court of Bangladesh and Nazia Rahman is an assistant professor at State University of Bangladesh
